Connie Carnes, M.S.
Licensed Professional Counselor
The Hearth Psychology and Counseling Center , LLC  

Huntsville , AL

256-880-8202   

ccarnes@knology.net

Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse

If you experienced sexual abuse as a child or teenager, you are not alone.  One in 4 girls and one in 6 boys experience traumatic sexual abuse.  Regardless of how extreme it is or how long it continues, sexual abuse leaves a trail of pain and confusion.

Sexual abuse involves a wide range of experiences, including inappropriate sexual communication, exposure to pornography, sexualized touching or fondling, physical exposure of genitalia and explicit sexual acts.  Sometimes in includes force or violence.  Sometimes it is perpetrated in more subtle and often more confusing ways.  The core similarity is this:  Sexual abuse involves inappropriate sexual interaction perpetrated by someone older and/or more powerful.  It happens in secret, and the victim is often ashamed or afraid to tell someone else, whether or not the perpetrator forces the victim into secrecy.  Many people do not tell their story until well into adulthood.

Healing the wounds of sexual abuse can happen at any stage of life.  There is a process that must occur, and that process should be accompanied by professional help with someone who understands the sensitivity of the process.  Here are some of the signs that you or someone you know may have unresolved sexual abuse trauma:

--Feelings of secrecy, shame, uneasiness or disgust related to a memory from childhood, even if that memory is vague and fuzzy.

--Difficulties in intimate relationships

--Feelings of alienation or being alone and different from other people

--Use of drugs or alcohol to numb pain

--Unresolved loss or a sense of betrayal in the family you grew up with.  These feelings may have created distance or separation.  You may or may not want to change this, (and it may not need to change).

--Excessive dependency in personal relationships, marked by insecurity, clinging, and possibly profound jealousy and possessiveness

--Excessive withdrawal and isolation.  Great difficulty making meaningful connections with others

--Sexual addictions or problems

There are many manifestations of sexual trauma.  Each person has a history and an individual emotional makeup.  Your experiences and concerns are unique.  The good news is that you can heal the wounds.  Even if they are very deep.  Even if they occurred 40 or more years ago.  Healing and peace are possible. 

It takes courage and willingness to heal.  Sexual abuse wounds deeply.  Healing creates greater health and wellness in mind, body and spirit.